Christmas Stockings: The Perfect Trojan Horse for Revenge

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Do you have an enemy or someone in your life who needs to be taught a lesson? Sure you do. What better time to teach them some tough love than at Christmas. What better way to do so than a Christmas stocking?

Santa really outdid himself with the whole stuffing the stocking thing. I mean, there couldn’t be a better set up to get some payback. It’s pure genius having your enemy plunge his arm up to the pit into a stocking without knowing its contents.

I’m sure it’s not the intent of Santa, weaponized stockings that is, but it’s the perfect trojan horse. When we see a stocking our curiosity overrides our reason. We simply can’t resist gathering around the mantle to dig into those crooked Christmas socks.

It’s not just the curiosity of the contents but also the environment. The joy of Christmas disarms. The blanket of fresh snow on the ground, the smell of cocoa, the excitement of opening gifts. How else can this irresponsibility be explained? After all, there aren’t many times in person’s life where they will reach their arm into a place without understanding the risks, sight unseen. Sure there are the outliers, phones or keys falling underneath the car seat or the errant Cheeto lodged in the couch cushion. But, for the most part, we know putting our hands in dark unfamiliar places can spell certain disaster, and possibly a bloody stump.

And, should you use stockings to fell your enemy you’ll get off Scott free. No one will dare accuse you of bad behavior because you aren’t the one who armed the stocking. Santa did it. You get to sit back and make little verbal jabs like, “Well looks like someone wasn’t as nice as they thought this year.”


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