3 Reasons Why Santa Is Not The Christmas Man

The “Christmas Man” is not the same as Santa. Let’s just get that out of the way right at the outset. But, who is the “Christmas Man” and why is he such a danger? This requires me to provide a little back story on how I was introduced to the chap.

Jesus One, Santa None

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To keep “Jesus the reason for the season” my wife and I decided that we would not even talk about Father Christmas in front of the kids. We decided to bypass all the waiting in mall lines for $20 pictures of our kid’s screaming like banshees. We removed almost all representations of Santa in the home and dared not even approach the Christmas classic of Twas’ The Night Before Christmas. Santa was viewed like a door to door sales man. He just kind of stopped by even though we never asked for him and we didn’t want what he was selling. He was “He of whom we do not speak.” In full confession.. we were likely only one step shy of labeling our gifts from Jesus to our kids. We were becoming to spiritual.

Are We Too Spiritual?

As thoughtful parents we want our kids to be rooted into the true meaning of Christmas. But, in pursuing this noble goal we have gotten too church ladyish. I think we would have continued on this path and deceived ourselves into thinking everything would be just fine by not having Santa hanging around. But that path came to a end.

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The Christmas Man

Driving down the road last weekend our family passed a car dealership with a King Kong sized blow up Santa Claus. My son did not miss a beat. “Daddy, look the Christmas Man!” My wife and I looked at each other and burst out in laughter, at least initially. Our son did not find our laughter to be funny in the slightest. He was serious, to him this jolly white- bearded sleigh driver was “The Christmas Man”. This was the moment of truth. We needed to revise our stance or forever doom our son to a Santa Claus identity crisis.

Santa vs. The Christmas Man

We needed to help our son understand who Santa Claus was and why he could never be the “Christmas Man.” This took some explaining but all things considered, I think we are getting him on track.

So let’s cap off 3 reasons why Santa is not, nor will ever be, the “Christmas Man.”

DISCLAIMER: These points were not covered with my son but let them be examples to you of who Santa is not. I urge you, if your kids are not clear on Santa speak with them soon. If you neglect this they to will invent their own story about who this strange man is. Could he be the Christmas wizard?

So, Santa is not the “Christmas Man” because:

  1. “The Christmas Man” makes Santa out to be a yuletide version of Heman. Santa is not a demi-god of ancient Nordic lore who wields a broad sword. He doesn’t summon special other worldly powers to vanquish his enemies. If he did I think it’s safe to say that his mortal enemy would be that peeping Tom elf or as you may better know him… Elf On The Shelf. Praise be to the powers of Gray Skull.
  2. “The Christmas Man” implies that Santa is a wealthy tycoon or a used car salesman. He does not drive or peddle used Beamers, does not have board meetings and he hates coffee. But yet, Santa does have executive assistants… many of them. Still though, he is not an executive; his choice of supple velvet suits would also keep him attending any management meeting.
  3. “The Christmas Man” makes Santa sound like a male exotic dancer. Santa is no way affiliated with Thunder Down Under. He doesn’t live in Vegas, he doesn’t do calendars in the buff, and he never waxes his body. He is all man.
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    This Santa loves SnapChat.

Santa for Christmas

In closing, the next time you are debating whether to make Santa a part of your kid(s) Christmas think through this list. You don’t want your kids to be the ones walking around telling all their friends about the Christmas Man. It just sounds creepy. Old rusty van with a port hole window creepy.

Leave your thoughts, comments, and stories below as I would love to hear them.

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2 thoughts on “3 Reasons Why Santa Is Not The Christmas Man

  1. Sean

    You should get with Charlie Day and write the Christmas Man song. Would likely be a follow on to Day Man.

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