My Wife Left Me for A Robot

I think my wife might leave me for a robot. There are robots that vacuum floors, mow lawns and clean windows. How is a man to compete?

My Introduction to Household Robots

For Christmas our family received an iLife Beetles V3 robot from my in-laws. This appeared to be a thoughtful gift. But, as time goes by I am beginning to think he is threatening my very existence. Happy wife? Yes, this appears to have been a by- product. Happy life? For me? This remains to be seen.

What’s In A Name?

My wife has named our robot Vinny and he does work.

Vinny wakes every day at 2pm and goes about his chores faithfully. You can say Vinny is a self-starter.

He edges the base boards, cleans under the dirty couch and puts himself away when finished. He does his work without direction and the family loves him. Vinny and I are at opposite ends of the spectrum.

I won’t lie, it requires many promptings and clear direction for me to knock out the simplest chores. I can’t tell you how many times I have botched the grocery list.

And, sometimes I am so fatigued that I can’t even muster the energy to put myself away. By away I mean propping myself against the corner of the couch and sipping a bourbon while I catch up on West World.

Disclaimer: I have one bourbon and this is after I put my kids down for bed, I am not some dead beat dad.

If Vinny can vacuum the floors autonomously then whats next? How long before the robots in my home can do the dishes and cook dinner?

My Hope

My saving grace is that robotic advancement is slow. To my knowledge there is not a robot yet that can feed a 2 year old or change a diaper. This is comforting as I spend about an hour or two each day engaged in these tasks. These rites of passage are irreplaceable and most wives appreciate the relief dad’s bring in these areas.

I think I still have staying power but I will continue to monitor robotic advancement with a watchful eye. For now the benefits are outweighing the risks.

If you are interested in what robots are out there and what tasks they can fulfill I have made a list below. It will surprise you on what these little guys can accomplish.

The Robots

Below are a few robots that are sure to make your chore list easier to knock out. Just beware, while these may cut your chore time you might be facing replacement.

iLife Beetles V3

This is a stellar device. ILife offers three product variations on their Vline offering. Each is well reviewed and a great bang for the buck.

This is the model we purchased and it is great for vacuuming up pet dander and general day to day dust.

s4-1

Key Features / Benefits:

  1. Multiple infrared sensors – 14 groupings
  2. Scheduled cleaning
  3. Auto dock and recharge
  4. Double filter – HEPA and Primary filter with dust box

Winbot

Just as you deduced,  it’s a robot that will clean your windows. It delivers spotless cleaning at the touch of a button.

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Key Features / Benefits:

  1. 4 stage cleaning system – utilizes microfiber cloth and wrap around squeege.
  2. Quiet low decibel cleaning – 62db
  3. Cleans framed and frameless windows.
  4. Cleans multiple kinds of glass – frosted, tinted, thermopane, etc.
  5. Remote control

Grillbot

Grill bot takes the grunt work out of cleaning your dirty grill. This robot does all the dirty work from scrubbing to cleaning.

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Key Features / Benefits:

  1. Push button operation
  2. Set it and forget it cleaning timer
  3. 3 powerful onboard electric motors
  4. Smart computer to regulate speed and direction

Looj

Brought to you by the makers of Roomba. Looj is a gutter cleaning robot. It takes away the danger associated with scaling a wobbly ladder to clear out leaf debris.

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Key Features / Benefits:

  1. Self cleaning or manual operation
  2. 4 stage auger debris blasting system that lifts and throws debris from gutter.
  3. Cleans a 30 ft. length of gutter in 5 minutes.

Lawnbott

Lawnbott’s robots are the most expensive on this list. But, given the fact they mow your lawn for you this could be well worth the investment to save time.

Lawnbott-LB300EL-Robotic-Lawn-Mower

Key Features / Benefits:

  1. Mows up to 2 acres
  2. Configuration of multiple mowing zones
  3. Brushless wheels and motors – this means less ongoing maintainence and greater motor life.
  4. Smart phone mower management – IOS and Android
  5. Adaptive Programming – Lawnbott learns as it mows your yard.
  6. Rain sensors
  7.  7-8 hour mow time on single charge

 

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